I felt the pangs of despair, I cried the tears of hopelessness.

In the waiting, I thought I would never get whole. 

But here I am, hopeful.

Here I am, proving them wrong.

Here I am, with my whole heart. 

I’ve been kicked around, accused, rejected.

I got up every time. I kept getting up until they stopped and marveled.

“How is she still getting up? Shouldn’t she be in the corner, depressed and hopeless?”

Then I will point to God and I’ll keep looking up because you never failed me, you never gave up on me. Your hands kept reaching for me, you kept lifting me up.

It was You all along. 

Just like dating, you are putting yourself out there again.

You are putting your heart out and you are scared that you may get hurt again.

But don’t stop being yourself, now is YOUR time to shine. 

Sow A Seed and contribute to the Kingdom!

I woke up from a dream where I was in a room and I said “I have a part of this room that is invisible”, then there was a pipe that was connected to the washer and dryer and old dust and huge pieces of lint was coming out. I said “we seriously need to get the parts changed”.

When I woke up I kept hearing “take up the room”.

“Take up the room.

You were once invisible, but take up the room. Be visible. You are visible no matter HOW much you try to hide. They are all staring because they see a light within you, SHINE.

Don’t be embarrassed, you will not be humiliated.

Don’t be ashamed, because I have redeemed you- says the Lord.

Walk proudly with your head up.

I am cleaning out the old things that no longer resemble you. No longer are you a widow or a barren women/men. You have and are continuing to birth new things that no men or women has seen. You are NOT like the world. The world clamors AFTER the bright lights, but they have NOTHING to show.

YOU, you have truth, you have light. You have hope, you are amazing. My spirit lives within you, that is truth. Diamonds and gold cannot COMPARE to you. 

Your clothes can’t even represent you because your true light is THE ESSENCE of you, the ENERGY of you, the vibes. You emanate wonder.

When you SPEAK you roar like a lion, causing all to be surprised. How can something so piercing to the soul come from a small woman/man like you?

You are not small, you are grand.

No matter how people view you, you are grand in my eyes. You are a king/queen. You are destined to rule. Though you are now laying down what was, look- how I am giving you new garments of praise, new futures. Things you have never seen, never could have imagined for yourself.

Though you wept and grieved for the last season, now rejoice, I am doing something new.

You will not be humiliated, for I the LORD am your strong redeemer. I will redeem the places that caused you pain, I will repay you for what you lost. All is not lost. I said ALL is not lost. I AM redeeming it ALL WITH interest!!

You WILL NOT remember the tears you cried.

For it is finished.”

Follow Me on Instagram

Sow a seed!

The path of intimacy with Jesus requires that He prunes you (to cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth- Mirriam Webster).

Jesus will prune you of things that are not of Him, unhealthy soul ties, attachment to things or status, a need for external things to validate your identity. 

He does this not because He is mean, but because He is good. First He has to prune you from what you think you need.

Because He is ALL that you need. And He is the only one that will complete you so that you become enough, whole, NOT lacking. 

He wants to give you ALL things, He wants to bless you and spoil you.

But He cannot do it when you are wanting it out of lack. Because in Christ you are not lacking. 

Imagine if you felt like there was something missing within you, so you go searching for it- in a relationship, in your career, in your finances, in material things, in fame, in status, in reputation, in how others view you….

You ask God to answer your prayers.

“God please give me this and that, please give me a husband, please please….because I don’t have enough and I am not enough….ultimately, because I don’t believe that you are enough”.

God wants to give you EVERYTHING, but He will make sure that LACK belief is out of your system before He blesses you. He wants that blessing to be a representation of WHO YOU ARE, not who you are not.

Ultimately, He wants you to know who He is in the process. He wants you to know His heart for you, He wants to sing over you versus you getting what you want and then walking away, then desperately praying for Him to deliver you when you are in a bind.

Are you willing to be solely committed to Jesus, as His bride? (even if you are a man)

Do you believe He will never leave nor forsake you? Will you walk with Him in the process instead of running away or only coming to Him when you are desperate?

A wife trusts, relies on her husband. Jesus who is whole and complete made you whole and complete with His sacrifice on the cross. You are not lacking one thing. 

When you believe you are whole, all things will be added unto you. Everything you could ever imagine and much more. 

Right now God is commissioning and sending out many people who have been on the edge of their own plans and God’s plans.

You see, Jesus walked on this earth and called many. He said “peter, follow me, you’ll be fishers of men”. Peter followed. Many left their homes and careers to pursue what Jesus was doing on this earth.

God is calling many right now. 

I have been talking to a lot of people and prophesying to “move forward”. For many that means quitting their jobs, moving, aligning themselves with where God is calling them. You see Jesus was always on the move on this earth. He never really settled too long in one place because His food was to do the Father’s will. 

There are so many Christians that are holding onto their own lives because they are afraid that the Father God won’t take care of them or provide for them. When Jesus told me to sell everything and follow Him, I was scared, but I followed because nothing else seemed to satisfy my heart.

The other day I got to prophesy over a young lady at the salon. God told me “she is a preacher”. I said “you are a preacher”. She said “I just want to work for myself”, but I felt the Lord say it so strongly…

It was a spirit of unworthiness that had her.

Many of us don’t believe we have what it takes, but it’s not us, it’s Jesus in us enabling and empowering us. 

I have prayed for hundreds of people on this trip, security guards, random strangers, anywhere and everywhere…and I noticed that God has just been calling through me to others “you are called to preach, you are called to be a missionary”.

But the fear of lack prevents many from moving forward.

Just yesterday the Lord finally gave me a huge breakthrough. He showed me that I was feeling unworthy because of past accusations. He showed me how many people accused me when I fundraised for my trips, some people from my past church told me “you don’t go to my church anymore so I won’t support you”, some like my mother said “why should people support you when they are working for their money”, some trolls on my blog even accused me by saying “get a real job”.

You see why I didn’t ever want to fundraise?

I had left everything already to follow Jesus, yet I was being dishonored, rejected and scorned.

By in obedience to the Lord Jesus I continued, casting my cares on Him.

He said to me “you are worthy, what you are doing is the most important work in this earth and in heaven, souls are being saved, people are being freed from fear. You prophesy dreams and work miracles. This is the only work, the Father’s will, that is worth doing”.

I sense many women especially are breaking free from expectations and pursuing what God has called them to do.

This does not mean that you may go to seminary or join an organization for the Holy Spirit is BREAKING structures and institutions so that the REAL work can be done. Institutions have often LIMITED what the SPIRIT wants to do. CHURCHES have LIMITED what the SPIRIT wants to do. FUNDS AND FINANCES HAVE BEEN RESTRICTED AND NOT GIVEN TO THOSE WHO ARE DOING THE REAL WORK OF GOD.

Women have not been able to PREACH at churches because of false ideas about verses in the bible. The reason Paul said that women are not allowed to preach is BECAUSE BACK IN THE DAYS there were WITCHES who were preaching in the church, they were involved in witchcraft…(if I remember right from my earlier research), basically they were not OPERATING OUT OF THE SPIRIT.

Anyways, that’s not the point…the point is that the Spirit lives in all believers, not just men.

Because of many archaic ideas about women preaching, we have not seen the full manifestation of what God wants to do on this earth. 

I am a pastor. I pastor people everywhere I go, I don’t have a title from a church,  God called me Himself….so if men say “women can’t be pastors” their real argument is “they can’t be recognized by people, they should NOT BE SEEN, THEY SHOULD NOT RECEIVE APPLAUSE”, but it’s not men who recognizes or approves of women, but GOD! They are basically saying “I don’t want woman to RECEIVE THE HONOR they are worthy to receive because I (A MAN) want ALL THE GLORY!” 

BUT TO GOD BE THE GLORY ALONE!

I pastor people and no one sees. I pastor people in hostels and on the streets, I listen to people who I don’t expect to give me anything in return. I do it because Jesus is loving through me. I follow Him because I am in love with Jesus.

I don’t do it for the recognition.

And if I ever followed Jesus for the recognition than Jesus definitely burned that out of me because He brought me to the lowly place….a pastor who will sleep in a 10 bed dorm room. A pastor who doesn’t own a phone right now.

Even when the religious spirit tried to block me from preaching, the Spirit sent me to different churches, as a new comer, with no notification (as a visitor, not a guest speaker) He would tell me to pray for people and eventually I’d pray for the pastor. And the Spirit would rain down on that church as I prayed and prophesied over them.

I’m TIRED OF people wanting the glory! It’s JESUS that gets the glory!

God is calling MANY OF YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR LIVES FOR HIM. For the anointing flows in surrender. Let the Spirit live and love through you.

To make a contribution. Thank you and may the Lord bless you more abundantly.

Give on Paypal

Give on Venmo

Where do I even begin?

When I was young, I wanted to be a missionary but I didn’t want to live in a hut.

Slowly I started to believe a lie that I had to be successful in the world to be influential (or a light). I started pursuing my “dreams” and “goals” to be this successful and independent career woman. I was going to write books and speak around the world. I believe I am still going to do those things…however, my motive wasn’t right.

My motive wasn’t right because I didn’t believe that I was enough. 

I grew up with a single mom, didn’t see my dad for 10 years and grew up with a cloud of abandonment and rejection over my head.

God started to heal me. This road was long and strenuous.

I basically ran my own road thinking it was God’s. I ran myself dry. I was in a drought. I was still following God, but I wanted to do it my way.

The truth is I was running away. I was in pain, but I couldn’t face the pain of healing.

I went from running my own business to backpacking in Europe for 2 months, on my last leg of the journey I woke up from a dream where the Lord specifically told me to quit my career. When I went back all the finances dried up and the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. I was late on rent and my family was accusing me of living an irresponsible life.

So there I was laying at my friend’s house. God said “at 3pm you will know where to move”. Well, my mom had already offered up her place. The idea of living in a studio with my mother (who I have clashing personalities) did not seem like such a good idea.

But that’s exactly where God wanted me to be. And I surrendered. 

He wanted me to go through the grueling healing process of reconciling with my mother. I proceeded to spend 2 years living with her. During this time God also told me that I was a pastor to the lost sheep and that I was not to pursue any work opportunities. 

Imagine, you are almost 30 and the Lord tells you to rest.

All of society would be criticizing you, wouldn’t they?

Well, I went through the test of accusations left and right, until the point I knew who I was.

“I am a daughter of God and I am righteous in His eyes, I am approved by Him and not by men or women. I stand firm in this identity, Jesus paid the price for me”. 

After 2 years, the Lord said “it’s time to go”.

I packed my bags and went. I thought I would stay in Taiwan for a year, but the Lord actually wanted me to gather the lost sheep in different corners of the world. I went from no energy to praying for strangers on the street everyday. I went from timid to bold. I went from fearing to being fearless.

I went from needing recognition to simply being unknown. 

I wanted the spotlight but then I found identity in being loved by God. God led me through different industries like acting and real estate to show me that my worth couldn’t be found in any of that. 

Now, I spend days pursuing lost sheep. I ask to pray for people who laugh at me and reject me. I pursue sheep that avoid me because they know I will speak the truth to them. I climb mountains and dive deep to find the ones who have been wounded by religion or the church, I find those that are not believers in Jesus and I tell them Jesus loves them.

There are days I can’t stand the persecution, the pain, the rejection, the weariness, the attacks of the enemy and I’ll just cry to Jesus.

But I do it because Jesus changed me, He healed my heart of brokenness and He loves me.

Sow A Seed- Thank You!

The enemy has silenced women for so long with guilt, shame, accusation and intimidation BUT WHEN YOU know you are pure and righteous by the BLOOD OF JESUS you will RISE SO HIGH. YES I JUST FEEL LIKE GOD IS SAYING COME OUT OF HIDING!!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY PROVED IT ON THE CROSS. YOU don’t have to defend yourself because I AM YOUR GREAT DEFENDER!

RISE and SHUT THE ENEMY UP.

Give on Paypal

Give on Venmo

Matthew 6:19-21

Treasures in Heaven

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Is your life built on what others think of you?

If your life built on what your parents expect from you?

Is your life built on a career, something that might shift and change?

Is your life built on money, accruing more stuff, more houses, more clothes? (where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal)

Is your life built on finding the perfect guy/girl? (there is no such thing as perfection)

Is your life built on fame and reputation? (someone will always have something to say)

My life is built on Jesus.

I’ve lived my life for others before, I was a mommy pleaser, I tried to be the good Asian daughter, the driven and accomplished model citizen, but then I followed Jesus into entrepreneurship, freelancing, eventually answering the call to be a pastor to the lost sheep. I had no reputation, I actually gained haters and gained ill repute with some family members. I have trolls on my blog.

But I think that if I didn’t answer my call, I wouldn’t be praying for people who have breast cancer, I would be healing broken hearted people, I wouldn’t be praying over homeless people “you are not an orphan, but a son of God, I break off the spirit of orphan, fear and rejection, you are not a criminal, but forgiven”.

There is no better feeling than knowing that YOU’VE imparted TRUE identity to someone.

To tell them YOU ARE FREE! No longer under condemnation.

YOU ARE FREE.

A testimony from the other day: 

Today I felt led to pray for a lady in the bathroom and after she said, next time pray for me again. I have cancer. She said I have breast cancer and am going through treatment. So I prayed for her again. This time in a vision I actually saw her breast grow back, have never seen that but I said yes you are healed.

Then later on I picked up a 5 cents coin and looked up to see a homeless man. I prayed for this man Dean and he told me his story. His coworker was trying to harm him and he reacted with violence. He was charged with attempted murder. Two years in prison, he got out and he didn’t have family to turn to and started living on the streets.

The Lord told me to write about this.

When a woman is pregnant, the fetus grows inside her womb to protect the baby from outside threats. Her womb is like a covering, a place of protection, a secret place that no one else can enter. 

I felt like our DREAMS are the same. We need a secret place to birth our dreams. Whatever God has told you, you can’t share with just anyone.

I had many years of learning to walk in the secret place. I had many dreams, dreams like “I’m going to be like Asian Oprah” or “I’m going to travel the world speaking to people”, some dreams were a source of ridicule and jokes for my relatives. They looked at my life and couldn’t see any hint of “success”.

The truth is God was working in my heart.

He started me off this way- asking me to pray or pastor just one person.

This person could be in the gym, in a swimming pool, in the movie theater, in a bathroom, on the streets, in the park. 

Many of us want a pulpit or a stage, but we refuse to love the one person God has put in our lives. That is why God sent me home to love the one person I thought was the MOST difficult to love, my own mother. I spent 2 years zipping my mouth when I wanted to scream, I spent 2 years learning patience.

I learned to submit and to obey God in the hard places. Am I perfect? No. I learned to apologize when I didn’t want to, I learned to communicate my pain even if she might not understand.

I sense this on God’s heart- when He calls you and  you answer, will you do it without recognition? Will you do it in secret? Will it be enough to hear Him say “well done servant?”

In due time He surely rewards those who obey Him- Joseph obeyed God by interpreting a fellow inmates’ dreams. He did what he could, where he was situated. He didn’t wait for God to put him in Pharaoh’s presence before he did what he was called to do. 

The worse thing was that one of the inmates actually forgot about him “ The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.” Genesis 40:23

How many of you have been forgotten by someone? Maybe you did something nice and that person didn’t choose to promote you in the job or in your life. Maybe they actually turned on you. But the LORD NEVER FORGETS, even if one person forgets you! 

“When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream” Genesis 41:1

“Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, “Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. ¹⁰ Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. ¹¹ Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. ¹² Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream. ¹³ And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us: I was restored to my position, and the other man was impaled.”

“So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon.When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh.”

“Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace,and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.”

I felt such a leap in my spirit as I reread this story.

The LORD wants you to know that HE SEES YOU and whatever you’ve been doing faithfully HE WILL reward you.

But first, you must believe you are worthy.

The truth is I battle with unworthiness, sometimes not feeling good enough, sometimes feeling discouraged by the voices of the enemy, sometimes I experience headaches and all forms of attacks, I experience bad dreams, sometimes I feel like I can’t go on anymore, I feel lack, I worry about how the future will unfold, I worry about money, I worry about how God will provide….

BUT like yesterday, I had to press in. Whether it’s praying in tongues or reading out loud truths about who I am, whether it’s asking people to pray for me, I had to press in.

It’s a spiritual warfare, those voices, those diseases, those sicknesses, unbelief.

But you must choose to battle in the secret place. 

GOD I believe, but help my unbelief.

I’ve been a pioneer, when God called me, I didn’t know how I would ever survive. There were tests, emotional wounding, dishonor, humiliation. I was driven to the walls, I thought I was going insane. I said God I can’t take this anymore. I’m following you but I have to bear persecution, this is inhumane. I’m following you, but I have to be humiliated, shamed, accused? 

But 2 years later, after I obeyed when He said “sell everything and follow me”, I am sitting in South Africa and I’ve ministered in 4 countries already. I don’t speak behind pulpits, I don’t speak on stages.

I hold hands with janitors in bathrooms and pray for them. I lay hands on homeless people, I’ve told my testimony in churches (in unofficial ways, in organic ways), I’ve prayed for pastors and cleaners, I walk up to strangers in restaurants.

Today if you are going through battles of your own, read this out loud.

I am a child of God. I am not an orphan. The father is taking care of me. I am not alone. He is with me always. He will never leave nor forsake me. He will Provide and protect me. Hosts of angels are watching over me.

Will you birth in the secret place? God is protecting you and that is why you may not be getting the recognition and honor you deserve. God is also testing your heart, are you doing it out of pure love or out of selfish desire? Are you loving people to get something back or are you TRUSTING GOD to recompense you?

And also it is important to protect your BABY (DREAMS) from people who will destroy or abort it. It might mean not talking to certain relatives for a while, cutting ties with certain friends, not watching movies or tv shows that will hurt the conception and growth of your dreams, it may mean sacrificing or surrendering a job or a savings account for the sake of building His kingdom, it may mean moving to another city.

Would you prayerfully consider sowing a seed today? I’ve been ministering since July in Taiwan, Korea, Japan and South Africa. I will be going to China next. Funds are needed for me to continue ministering and praying for people on the ground. 

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38 I believe this verse truly as I have seen it in my own life. When I gave, I saw the Lord give more abundantly to me.

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Facebook info page: https://www.facebook.com/donate/274911403152724/

Street pastor and prophet, Rebekka

May He bless you with peace and joy. You are enough in Christ Jesus. You are not lacking. You are whole. In Jesus name Amen.

Living Against Cultural Norms 11/25/2018, 9th day in Shanghai China, 4 months overseas, written in the middle of the night on my notebook.
I’ve gone through more challenges than I would care to experience following Jesus and ministering to people in different countries. It’s easy to hide behind a computer but when you are interacting and living with people on a daily basis you’ll face many objections and challenges.

For one, sexism.
Another, the spirit of intimidation and control (witchcraft).
Another, hurt.
There were times I had to ask people to put their phones on silent mode in the dorm rooms. In a 8 bed dorm room you’ll encounter plenty of people.

When I asked this guy to silence his phone as all kinds of sounds were coming from his phone (BTW the first night I got woken up by someone watching porn on their phone, no headphones), he ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist.

He finally got off his bed, which is the top bunk above mine.

When I confronted him, he looked away and pretended I didn’t exist.
Then he stared at me and said “are you crazy? Why are you staring at me?”
I was speechless.
This kind of person exists in this world?
When I told other chinese people about it they said I should just ignore it. They ignore many things. To them it’s part of life- longsuffering.

I believe God calls us to forgive and love our enemies, but He doesn’t call us to be silent.

In fact, a prophet is supposed to speak in the face of opposition, persecution and intimidation.

This week I also showed my past TV appearance videos to some people. They were shocked as I was “skinnier” and “prettier” back then, they said.

I said “I didn’t know who I was back then, I felt that I needed to put on makeup but now I don’t feel the need to put on a “face” for anyone.

But those words still affected me and I had to climb out of the “feeling of not being enough” hole. The truth is I didn’t each much back then out of the fear of lack and the fear of gaining weight. When moments like that occur I have to look at Jesus and reaffirm “I am enough in Christ Jesus”.

I had a dream last night I hadn’t changed water in a tank for 3 weeks and the fishes were in a really thick shampooed filled liquid.

I had another dream a woman pastor layed her hands on my head and I started sobbing. When I woke up I could hear myself crying.

The process of loving others is not easy. I find myself angry and hurt at times, laughing at other times.

I share my testimonies and of God’s grace to people who aren’t perfect- like me.
People who are scared of intimacy, vulnerability, letting anotone into their hearts, people who carry a spirit of lack and don’t feel like they are enough, people who feel guilt and shame and sometimes have no capacity to give me any love because they haven’t embraced God’s love.

Even though I experience joy in these friendships， I’m ultimately still a pastor, minister, prophet.

Its not a 2 way street. I may be sharing intimate parts of my heart but I am never to look for belonging or acceptance from people I minister to because my home is God, no one else.

Perhaps the joy I felt caused me to think that I’ve found new friends, but close friends are people who can actually level up with you.

God will humble you and cause your heart to be enlarged, but your heart will also have to process continual rejection and persecution.

Most of the time people don’t understand me but my job is to share what is on God’s heart and know my belonging is in God.

Being a pastor to the lost sheep is not easy.

It’s a calling for people who will surrender to their hearts continually to God.

It’s a calling for warriors.
It’s a calling for those who won’t give up in the face of strong opposition.

Sow a seed

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Frebekka.lien%2Fvideos%2F10161246856510603%2F&show_text=0&width=267

Here’s the story.

Today I got back to the hostel really excited to do my laundry. But then this happened- the washer wouldn’t open after my clothes were done being washed.

I tried hard to open it but realized I needed to give up quick. In Korea my clothes got stuck in the washer and I ended up having to leave them. This time there was someone who could help me but I needed to wait so while I was waiting for the manager, I was hit with a revelation.

If you never let go of old clothes, you don’t have room for new clothes when you’re traveling because when you travel, it will actually COST YOU MONEY (It will cost you to hold onto past hurts, old wounds, unforgiveness, old ways of thinking, fear, anger, bitterness, the past) TO bring on EXTRA BAGGAGE! 

Most airlines only give you either one or two carry on and for international flights, one baggage. There is also a limit to how much you can bring onto the flight. For international flights it is 20 kg. 

Guess what?

You will be weighed down emotionally and spiritually if you don’t let go of the past. 

If there is extra luggage (baggage) in your heart, you won’t be able to step into the new season ready to receive the new things. 

If you don’t let go of your past relationship (or bitterness about it) you can’t go into a new relationship with room to receive the love you are looking for.

Here’s what God said
“some people are NOT willing to throw out things that AREN’T WORKING because they feel like they WASTED so much money on it already”.

You say- “IT COST ME TOO MUCH already!” It cost you too much time, it cost you too much energy, it cost you me too much heartache!

For example, your clothes were really expensive or cost a lot of money but you never wear it….it’s costing you space.

One of the things I find very disturbing about what some Christians teach is that they hide under the guise or the “covering” of the church and do not have opinions or trust that God is speaking to them.

So they move only in the direction of what they’re told by leaders in the church and no longer have a mind of their own.

As someone who hears God and follows His voice I often meet Christians who say “wouldn’t it be better if you went with someone else” or a group?

As though Jesus in me is not enough and if the signs and miracles that God has worked through me isn’t evident of His presence in me and in my life. 

I am often reminded of the pharisees who saw the miracles and signs yet still doubted that God could really work through one person.

They are essentially saying “you can’t trust that God can speak to one individual or work miracles through one person”.

In fact this thinking is ancient.

It’s like having a catholic priest to “confess” your sins to and atone for your sins.

But Jesus’ BLOOD IS enough.

So many Christians are taught not to trust their heart and because of this, we do not see manifestations of God as much as God intended.

The reason I see God working through me is because I trust that IT IS God speaking to me and I act upon it. 

God puts every desire in your heart and ONLY BY listening to it will you essentially be listening to the spirit.

Leaders in the church have systematically taken “power” away from people by teaching this lie- that God only works through groups, not individuals and that their hearts are not to be trusted.

You see ONE head of that group who controls them and “corrects” them when they’ve gone astray.

This IS THE RELIGIOUS SPIRIT, a demonic spirit that entraps people and gets them forever stuck, to not have any voice or thought of their own but to be a mere robot that merely listens to a person or group herd mentality.

It says in the BIBLE that you have the mind of Christ when you receive Him into your heart.

GOD IS NOT AGAINST OUR DESIRES, HE PUTS DESIRES IN OUR HEARTS AND IT IS HIS LEADING. 

If a man was to follow the Spirit people probably wouldn’t QUESTION that GOD is working through him, but for some reason as a woman, I have tons of people asking me that maybe I should find a person to go with, that God should send my husband so I’m not alone out here on the field (in whatever country I am in).

HEY GUYS! 

I’M NOT ALONE! I WAS NEVER ALONE. JESUS IS MORE PRESENT THAN ANY HUMAN BEING ON THIS EARTH.

AND HE IS WORKING POWERFULLY THROUGH ME. AND I DO NOT FEEL ALONE, though I may feel misunderstood, I SAY I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS of CHRIST JESUS, I AM ENOUGH IN CHRIST JESUS.

After I struggled with thoughts of lack because someone asked if I should maybe go with someone- I suddenly had all these revelations about being enough. Even in this way. Following your heart and trusting that GOD is the one in you leading you, I decided to get a henna tattoo as a reminder.

And yes that is a mosquito bite. LOL.

YOU ARE FREE, not a slave.

You are free, you are enough because of what Jesus did on the cross for you.

I had a remembrance of when I left a certain church because of legalism that someone said “I wish you came and prayed with us”.

What she really meant was “I wish I had the chance to change your mind, control you because I want you to stay and take over the worship team because I am the one leaving”.

God had already spoken to me “you’ve reach your limit here, it’s time to move on”.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.

Even if someone doesn’t agree with you, it’s important to listen to what your heart is telling you.

The traditional and ancient church have suppressed women by telling them that they cannot have their own thoughts or even preach. They are much mistaken and it is the PURE work of the Devil, not God. In fact there were many prophetesses in the Bible. Jesus always came to liberate women, not to judge or condemn them.

When everyone tried to condemn a prostitute, He forgave and freed them. He protected them. 

I pray that this post will set you free to know that your heart is worth listening to and it is God speaking.

Sow a seed to this ministry and the work I am doing overseas to share the grace of God and bring healing to people. Your help is much appreciated and God sees your generosity! 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien
https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

So yesterday I had a dream where people started writing about me and texting me. I was becoming famous but I was in deep water and asking someone if it was okay that I was wearing leather boots, will they be comfortable or ruined in water?

Then another dream was that there were 3 animals but this guy said “it’s mine and it’s my grandma’s and I have to keep it in my garage”- referring to the past.

SO then I was telling my friend this dream and she said “just remember to relax in your own skin”.

Then I fell asleep again and then all of a sudden I had this HUGE realization.

Yesterday I met a Muslim girl from Indonesia in the bathroom. I told her how it was REALLY IMPORTANT THAT she WRITE what she FELT, not just WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR because HER STORY MATTERS AND HER VOICE MATTERS. 

SHE CAN CHANGE HER NATION WITH HER WORDS.

She told me how in her country you can get imprisoned for simply joking about “having a bomb on an airplane” but I was talking about how in America you can say you want to chop off the President’s head and it’s okay because “yes it’s really that free” I told her.

She told me how when she is with relatives she is even shy about showing her neck area since she wears a head covering.

In the bathroom, she said “it’s okay, you can see me” and she took off her head covering. 

Her hair was beautiful, she had dyed it partially blonde and for some reason, I felt a sigh a relief. 

Is this how it feels to show your skin? To finally allow others to see the real you? 

To not hide anymore, who you are, what you look like, what you think. To not be afraid of judgement, rejection, imprisonment even.

The truth is I’ve been battling insecurities at times too. For example, feeling like I have a double chin, this is my insecurity at times. And I have to come back to God and hear Him say “you are enough, you are beautiful just the way you are”. 

We live in a world that tells us WHO to be, What to think, and even WHAT to say to be accepted. We get hunted down when we don’t say something that is either politically correct or that “offends” someone.

You will offend someone no matter what you say and who you are. Someone will find you offensive. People find me offensive in various parts of Asia because I am blunt. 

But as a prophet, I have to brave and bold and say what’s on my mind because God’s light and truth must be spoken to pierce the darkness and lies that people believe in.

Show yourself, show who you really are. 

That night I got really frustrated.

I said “God I am so ready to just speak in front of thousands of people and be a voice for the voiceless and to FREE people from oppression, I am SO TIRED of seeing people living under oppression and this FEAR of rejection and judgement. NO MORE SHAME LORD!”

Ever since I was young I saw myself speaking in front of thousands and millions of people, I saw myself writing books and shedding light into the darkest hearts. Now I am doing it but on smaller scale and a part of me feels impatient but I know God’s timing is perfect.

I pray what I write and speak will bring freedom to people. 

You are not a slave to society and what society thinks of you, you are free. In Christ Jesus.

To Read About My Story 

To Sow A Seed to This Ministry and What I am doing around the world, bringing Jesus’ love to people

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien 
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

The enemy of our soul often makes us feel like we are lacking, like life will be better “WHEN___________ (this happens)”. Whatever this is.

When I buy a new car, I’ll be happier.

When I buy that dress, I’ll be happier.

When my husband comes, I’ll be happier.

When money comes, I’ll be happier.

When I retire, I’ll be happier.

When I get to this or that country, when I travel, I’ll be happier.

All of those mindsets are actually based on the spirit of lack, not abundance. 

You already have what you need to do what you need to do, or even want to do.

When you realize your identity in Christ Jesus, you live from a spirit of “enough”. I am enough because of what Jesus did on the cross for me, I am not lacking.

Your bills might be late, you might have debt in the human realm, your husband or wife might be mad at you, your children might be out there somewhere and you have no control over them (rightly so), you might have acne on your face, you might have a layer of fat on your stomach, you might have high cholesterol, but in Christ you are whole.

So how do we live in that wholeness?

Because we live in a world that is imperfect and there always seems to be some kind of problem – such as my phone that is dead and resurrected a few times, a black hole in the center of the screen, cracked screen. Life can be frustrating.

And I found myself feeling uneven. God I’m doing all this for you, I layed down my life for you, and this is what I get?

I get a half working phone, fear of lack, and mean spirited people? I get noises all night preventing me from sleeping throughout the night?

I found myself wanting to cry and even wanting to die at times.

That’s the truth, it was so fierce.

Then I realize it was spiritual warfare.

This is the enemy lying to me-  “you are not enough, you don’t have what it takes, God is not enough for you, you need to stop doing God’s work and go home, just live a normal life will you? Look, God is not providing for you. Look, others get to have some luxurious life but you are living in an 8 bed dorm with people snoring, phones going off in the middle of the night, people who don’t respect you….it’s endless isn’t it? Is this even worth it? Doing God’s work, touching lives?”

I was bombarded with lies, with attacks, thoughts that drove me to the wall. 

These distractions, even the noises, the tv playing in the middle of the night made me crazy. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night and going outside saying to the people talking “will you quiet down because I can hear you inside” to taking off the freaken wind chime off the wall and telling someone to lower the volume on the TV.

Those noises were symbolic of the noises (lies) of the enemy.

This morning a light bulb went off.

YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are not lacking. I started counting every blessing and thanking God for everything. God thank you for the hair on my head, thank you for functioning legs and feet, thank you for the breathe in my lungs, thank you for my hands that can type this blog post. Thank you God that I’ve been able to survive and I’ve been to more countries than most people.

Thank you God that I didn’t get robbed. Thank you God you kept me safe in all these countries. Thank you God that no one attacked me physically. Thank you Lord.

Then I realize that the enemy OFTEN WANTS US TO FOCUS ON WHAT WE DON’T HAVE right now. He wants us to focus on lack so that we would not live in our true identity as sons and daughters of God. 

But even if you have nothing on your back and no wallet or bank account, you are rich in Christ Jesus. Jesus paid to have you as His son or daughter and you are royalty. This identity is not dependent on the clothes you wear, the house you live in, if you have a car or not. It’s not dependent on your new or no phone. Your identity is not dependent on what others think of you….

YOU ARE A CHILD of God and this identity is unshakable, immovable. 

I might not be able to take photos most of the time with my half working phone, there might be a black dot on the screen and the right side looks like the terminator.

I might be living in an 8 bed dorm with tv blasting at all times during the day. I might have a little carry on and not enough “pretty” clothes. I might be wearing a $5 shirt from Japan, and socks for $1. I might have a non-flat stomach and sometimes I notice some fat on my chin.

I might be annoyed and uncomfortable, but I am enough in Christ Jesus.

I might not always know how I will continue, I might not know where the money is coming from, but I am enough in Christ Jesus and He is enough for me.

God is my Good Father and He knows your needs. Wait patiently, and battle patiently when those thoughts come. I pray the Lord give you wisdom and may God remove any lies about your worth in Jesus name.

I am enough now, not in the future. I am enough now. 

To Read About My Story 

To Sow A Seed to This Ministry and what I am doing around the world, bringing Jesus’ love to people.

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien 
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Rebekka (missionary, prophet, pastor – qualified only by the blood of Jesus).

SO I had many divine appointments but none like this one.

After a lot of distractions and battling lies (see previous post), I had some major breakthroughs spiritually and just when I needed it, donations came in to keep me doing God’s work.

After I praised God, met a Chinese Christian in my room, prayed with her on the floor, I felt a sudden urgency to go eat.

It was around 7pm. The Lord said “Go to Khaosan Rd”. So I went, I walked past this restaurant I walked past before (which was playing christian music), but tonight there was someone playing guitar and singing.

God had given me a vision of a black haired person. I looked at the menu and was like, “it’s a bit overpriced” but the Lord was like “that’s why donations came in and also there is someone you need to pray for”, so I went.

I sat down and the Lord was like it’s him.

I suddenly had a vision of the singer praising Jesus and there were thousands of Thai people praising Jesus in song. It was so beautiful.

I started clapping for him and he would look back at me.

Later the Lord said he was going to go on break and to catch him when he does go on break. Right when I finished eating, he stopped and started packing up.

I yelled “ARE YOU FINISHED? Come sit”. And he said he would after he packed.

Well, he went the restroom and when he came out I stopped him. I said, you have amazing talent. I just wanted to tell you that I could see you praising Jesus and singing. He said “well I’m Buddhist, though I do believe in Jesus too”.

After talking a bit he laughed “actually I have a cross tattoo, my ex was a Christian”. He said ever since they broke up, he feels so free and he could give love to people.

I prayed over him and told him that God sent me to him.

He told me that his ex band member stopped singing to open a bar because he could not become successful or famous from it and I said “when you follow Jesus, when you sing for God- God will provide everything you need”. But when you sing to make yourself famous, you will fail or not be happy. 

Praise God for this divine encounter. Please pray for him

To Read About My Story 

To Sow A Seed to This Ministry and what I am doing around the world, bringing Jesus’ love to people.  

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien 
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

I’m not brave, no not all the time.

I feel scared and tired. What is the future going to hold? I’m tired of putting my heart out there, open. I’m tired of approaching strangers, putting myself out there. There are times I feel my heart tense and unable to move on. I’ve been traveling with the spirit, relying on God alone. I have to trust completely. I trust God continually with the finances needed to continue.

It is in these moments I know I have to cry, to process.

I’m not brave, God is just reliable.

People always tell me you’re so brave to do that. I guess, but many times I do it scared. I do it knowing that God will back me up and He has not failed me once. 

Even at times when I’m completely lost in a foreign and even supposedly dangerous area, the Lord sent an angel to me to help me. These are often strangers.

In my honest I say to God “I’m scared as hell” and I cast my burdens on Him. 

So people ask me what my plans are, I don’t have plans, I have a God who I am following.

Total submission to the Spirit. Living in His power alone. 

I am just trusting on a God who is really 100% reliable. So don’t call me brave, call God reliable.

People don’t live in the miracles or walk in the power of the Spirit because they choose not to trust God. Favor and Grace is poured out when we have a need, and often times when we live in our own flesh- we make things happen on our own…so why do we need God?

When we can make things happen on our own, we don’t need God. And that is why some people I talk to say why should they believe in God? Why should they rely on Him?

I guess sometimes you need to be driven to your knees to see you need God.

As for me, I have seen that my ways led me to nowhere, to only striving and stress, to sickness. 

I don’t live a safe life, I live a bold life.

Everyday I have no idea what will happen. It’s an adventure. Sometimes I meet challenges and I’m like God, I can’t but then He says “with me all things are possible”.

I wrote this on my facebook the other day. I was scared, oh yah. There was a storm coming to Thailand and two flights to Kuala Lumpur had already been canceled. 

Wow. What happened today was like a whirlwind. I prayed for a few people in the morning- so I got to the airport, suddenly the gate was changed, then the flight was canceled. Then I met a kind man named jimmy.
I was praying God let us fly!
I pray for a sick girl.
An hour later, I’m sitting down and a Filipino lady sits near me. I tell her I’m a missionary and offer to pray for her. I’m praying and keep hearing “new chapter and hope restored” she’s weeping and I’m rubbing her back praying over her. I would not have met her if my flight wasn’t canceled as she was waiting for another flight.

Sow a seed into the kingdom of Heaven and souls, thank you in advance and to all those who have already given! 

Since the age of 5 I was often home alone, I learned to kill bees on my own as a kid. I felt alone many times as my mom was often at work and I did not grow up with my dad. But in the many years of learning to be independent I learned to rely on God. I felt that I needed to be financially independent as I didn’t want to be a burden on my single mother.

However, I was living out of an orphan mindset. 

I was trusting God for provision however I was limiting Him by not knowing how to ask for help or believing that I was worthy of it.

There were many times on this trip I had to verbally ask for help. For example, asking to carpool or for a ride from a stranger because I had no sim card or way of getting home. So many times our phones actually become our emotional crutch but on this trip I’ve learned to open my heart. 

Recently I watched a movie called “More Than Blue”, it’s a Taiwanese movie about 2 orphans. One whose parents and family died in a car crash, and another whose mom abandoned him. What happens when 2 orphans come together? Codependency.

Here are symptoms of an orphan mindset:

1. You feel like you have to rely on yourself (and God) and no one else.
2. You feel like people cannot be trusted.
3. You feel like love must be earned, and that people will only love you if you are good to them. This results in you putting on a mask or pretending to be happy all the time.
4. You suppress and stuff your emotions or how you really feel because you’re scared of rejection and that others will stop liking or loving you because of you telling your truth.
5. You’re ashamed of asking for help, you don’t believe you are worthy of it.
6. You believe it’s easier to be alone and as a result you don’t know how to share you heart with people.
7. You carry severe woundedness and feelings of rejection because of past experiences.
8. You handle pain on your own, you feel that vulnerability is a sign of weakness.

ONE HUGE SIGN of an orphan mindset is that you CONDITION your behavior around those you are around (your behavior depends on who is around you at any given moment). God wants us to come into an alignment in our being to feel the freedom to be who we are without changing no matter who is around us. Most of us don’t feel safe to be who we really are because most people are not safe to be around (to be honest).

What happens when we find stability in our identity in Christ? And we find people who we can be honest with? Powerful authenticity.

There has been a number of movies recently about orphans, Instant Family for example.

Not to ruin the movie or anything (don’t read it if you’re going to watch it)- but they don’t tell each other how they really feel until the man is about to die. And then they lie and coerce each other to do what they want thinking it’s what will make them happy. For example, the guy says “you should get married to someone nice” when in truth he actually loves her…however because he is about to die he fears that she cannot handle the loneliness. He also does not tell her that he is sick.

In truth, she knows he is sick and is handling the pain on her own (orphan mindset). In the end, she married a guy just to make the man he loves happy, then leaves her husband to be by her lover’s side because she didn’t follow her heart to begin with.

Anyways even though I cried my eyes out, I thought to myself “this is really F#$% up”…how dare she use an innocent guy just to fulfill her lover’s wish.

So then, he dies and then she swallows some pills and kills herself.

While I was crying a bunch, God’s like “that’s not love”. I’m like okay I know, but the world seems to romanticize it. It seems romantic to die by your lover’s side.

In truth, the whole relationship started out with an orphan mindset. They felt abandoned and alone and instead of healing together, they basically became an orphan couple.

The girl could have lived a happy life without him if she had Jesus.

A child of God Mindset: 

1. Knows that in your weakness, God is strong. It’s powerful to be vulnerable and say how you really feel. You know that the ones who love you will still love you no matter what you say. 
2. The Lord is your shepherd, you lack nothing. You are enough in Christ Jesus, you are not lacking. Your worth doesn’t come from what you do for others but who you are in Christ.
3. You have a healthy understanding of building trust, that it takes time, but that your trust is not in people but in God. You understand that people are imperfect and people make mistakes and you understand that forgiveness is important to go on.
4. You can ask for what you need or want without feeling guilt about it because you know you are worthy in Christ Jesus.
5. You know that love is honest, not fake and you’re willing to be honest and show your true self. You understand that you heart is also not to be shared with just anyone. You understand your worth.
6. You can share your pain with others who can be trusted. You know that it’s okay to share your vulnerabilities because it is the beginning of relationship.
7. Your stability is in your identity of being a child of God, not in what you do or achieve, but in the unconditional love of Jesus.

It took me a long time to put my guard down and trust people, to learn to ask for help. The first time I asked my mom for help I was sobbing because I felt so ashamed. All my life, I was independent and could do everything on my own but it was the beginning of learning to be a child of God.

You don’t receive what you don’t believe you deserve. You receive in life what you believe you deserve. 

So when you live out of an orphan mindset, you don’t believe God can freely give you anything so you work for it, you strive for it, you perform for it.

But when you realize you are a child of God, you learn to rest and receive it knowing Jesus paid the price for it. 

Example-

The prodigal son did not work for His Father’s love and acceptance, in fact he actually wasted his inheritance but received Grace from His Father, it was undeserved. This is grace, undeserved, unearned.

The elder son on the other hand worked for His Father out of obligation and felt bitter when the Father provided the best for His undeserving son. This is living under the law, working for God’s love.

If my blog has helped you and you would like to contribute and sow a seed into this ministry, please click the links below. God bless you and thank you! 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien 
https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

Prophetic Word-

I hear the Lord say you are enough, you are not lacking and you have everything you need to move forward. I actually walked into a bookstore and told this to a girl and right after I realized God was speaking to me through me prophesying to her.

I spent a week in Melaka, Malaysia ministering there and then the Lord told me to go to Singapore. Well, I had about $60 in the bank and about 250 ringgits that my friend gave me. My phone was totally dead but I knew that the Lord would provide. I didn’t feel peace about booking any hostel or doing couchsurfing as I felt the Lord would lead me to where I needed to go. I also felt like I needed to stay at a hostel but that the hostel was not online.

However, I was still petrified and had a few days of feeling paralyzed in fear and I had to spend time with Jesus to even have any inkling of courage.

My time in Malaysia was fruitful, the Lord prophesied to people and healed people through me.

Testimonies:

On the day I was going to Singapore I saw a man at the bus station, I asked him if he was going to Singapore. He said yes. Right away I shared with him that I was a missionary and he said me too! He is an artist/minister.

On the bus we shared testimonies for 3 hours. In the beginning I shared how I was relying on the Lord for finances to keep going and that I’ve been going for 5 months since July to over 8 countries (Taiwan, Korea, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore).

When I went to the bathroom, the Lord spoke to this gentleman and told him to sow a seed. He gave me an envelope. I was shocked and surprised. The Lord surely provides. He said that the Lord told him I needed it more than him and this was true.

During the ride I felt that I needed to pray for the man and I held him like a baby, it was the strangest thing but I felt like I needed to do it. I said that he was a baby and that he must rely and rest in the Lord like a baby. That the Lord is taking care of all of his needs. I also felt that when he gave, the Lord broke off the spirit of lack. The Lord often calls us to give so that we are reminded “The Lord is our shepherd, we lack nothing” and that the Lord will refill what we gave in more abundance.

We cried and prophesied to each other on the bus, I felt like he was like a father figure.

When I got to Singapore, I first got some change and then asked which bus I should take to get to Chinatown. The Lord had impressed on my heart to go to Chinatown. I knew there were people I needed to reach there.

Without a phone, I got on a bus. First there was a man with an injured leg and I asked to pray for him but he said no. Later a madam and her helper got on the bus. I made some small talk and asked to pray for them, they said okay. I asked her if she knew of any hostels in Chinatown, she said no.

She said “Follow me” and I was hesitant but decided to follow her off the bus. She said “want to eat?” I said YES I am starving. She treated me to a big meal as we fellowshiped. I found out she was also Christian. I explained to her helper that I only had about 100 singaporean dollars to spend on a week at a hostel and I may not have enough. Even though the Lord had already provided 200 ringgits by the gentleman on the bus….

All of a sudden I heard the Lord said the lady would pay for my hostel.

I was like “okay, well I’ve heard things from you but sometimes they don’t pay God” (for example, I’ve heard God say “she will pay for your meal” and sometimes it doesn’t happen).

All of a sudden the madam got money out of her bag and put it in mine. I didn’t know how much she put but the helper said “see my madam is very kind, she just gave you 100 singaporean”.

I was like OMG you were right.

God provided enough for a hostel, but then now I had to find a hostel within my budget.

I walked into 5-6 hostels and I’m like LORD, show me the way. He said “go forward”. Many of the hostels were fully booked. Finally I looked across the street and I saw one that seemed plain and simple. I’m like Lord….

I walk in and ask if they have a bed, bam. It was sort of within my budget but if I spent all my money on the hostel, I wouldn’t have money for food. In the afternoon I suddenly had the idea to ask for a week’s discount and the owner said “yes, we have”.

Praise God. It was a considerable discount and it was the Lord providing.

Testimonies of Ministry:

As you know I pray for people when I minister. Sometimes people say yes, sometimes no. If the opportunity is there, I share my testimony and story of Jesus in my life. These are just a FEW of the testimonies that happen on a daily basis.

I saw a cat and started petting it. The owner of the shop came out and started talking to me. I shared why I was here in Singapore and he shared some of the things he has been through the last year. I prayed for him and also found out he used to be christian. I said the Lord led me here to let him know that The Lord has never left him.

The night I arrived, there were 3 Filipino ladies in the room. They happen to be Christian too and they prayed for me.

One day I asked to pray for a Vietnamese girl. I prophesied that “the Lord said to follow your heart and not to be afraid. I felt like it was her job that she didn’t like.”

She was shocked, “how did you know what I was thinking?”

I said “the Lord speaks to me”. She ended up receiving the Lord and I told her “you can hear God too” so we sat there holding hands. She said “the Lord told me not to be scared” in Vietnamese.

There are many more testimonies.

The Lord has told me to continue in Indonesia and I am looking for ministry partners that are willing to sow. The flight ticket is about $90 and finances for housing and food. I am aiming for $500.

If you feel the spirit leading you to give, know that the Lord will bless you MORE abundantly and your reward will also be in heaven.

Click to give- https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien
Click to give- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Frebekka.lien%2Fvideos%2F10161390738260603%2F&show_text=0&width=560

Testimonies and Updates from Singapore 
Prophetic Dreams, Word and PRAYER

I am looking for a few people to sow for the next place God is calling me to. I am heading to Indonesia on January 25.

A rice paddy in Bali, Indonesia

Women are scared to reject men because they don’t want to be the cause of someone’s pain. To be the cause of someone’s pain makes you feel that you are not enough and you can’t possibly make everyone happy.

But essentially you are not God.

I meet lots of men and women that tire themselves out trying to be everything to everyone and I have tired myself out like that before.

You are not responsible for how others feel about themselves. 

Most people will not understand why you do what you do.

You will upset and hurt people for living your truth, they will not be able to understand why you chose to leave home or chose to be far away from them.

You cannot change yourself to make others feel better about themselves or to appease them to fill and cover insecurities they feel about themselves.

You can only live your truth.

You can only live out your truth.

And when we don’t, when we pretend to be something we are not- our hearts suffer from it.

We can’t love without risking it and we can’t love without experiencing pain.

What I mean is- you are no responsible for protecting peoples’ hearts, God is. He is also responsible for protecting your heart. 

We can’t live our lives being afraid of offending others, call it “politically correct” or socially acceptable. Jesus was offensive. He loved those who didn’t deserve love in society’s perspective.

The disciples wanted him to be around all the time but he disappeared to have alone time. 

You can’t right all wrongs. 

You can’t explain yourself to everyone, and you don’t need to.

The ones who usually need explanation are not those who want your help and want to understand- they just want to instigate and make you feel less than….

Their own insecurities causes them to question your confidence. 

Perhaps if they make you question yourself they’ll succeed in derailing you from your truth and insecure people love to have company.

I am not saying I am always confident but I’ve learned to follow the voice and heartbeat of God, I’ve also learned to listen to my heart and to trust my heart.

And to seek that quiet voice instead of all the noises that seek to distract me, and they do come, often.

The naysayers say “but over confidence in yourself is wrong” when in truth they are petrified to follow their heart because they are afraid of failure, humiliation, rejection, judgement and most of all- PAIN.

Because some people will avoid pain at all costs.

Pain, disappointment conveys to them “you’re not enough”, you’re a loser and not a winner.

But pain is part of life.

Pain is your heart aching for heaven on earth.

Paradise, never ending love.

It’s an echo, a cry for help “there must be more” says your heart.

There must be a love that is eternal, a love that never fails you nor forsakes you, a love that doesn’t cheat on you nor betrays you.

And that love came to earth to bear all our pain and imperfection- Jesus.

That’s why it says “cast all your cares on the Lord for he cares for you”.

And there is no such thing as failure because God desires honest more than feigned enthusiasm. He is a God that is more than able to handle our fragile hearts.

Sometimes things we don’t expect comes out of our mouths because we’ve suppressed our truth for too long, pretending to be a version of self that is acceptable to others, whether that is our friends or family.

People (strangers) confess things to me they’ll never tell their friends or family because the shame is too much to bear.

People will tell me about relationships they had with married man/woman, abuse, deep longings, relationship fails, parents, self-abuse, attempts at suicide, sleeping with prostitutes, etc….the shame is heavy to bear and so they unload to me.

And for some reason, I feel no need to judge as I am myself imperfect.

But that is love, a total embrace that is unconditional.

I’m currently in Bali and the air is inspiring me in all kinds of ways. I’m overcoming my fear of the scooter as 3 years ago I got into a moped accident. I’ve learned to let go a little and just have fun in the midst of ministering and praying for people.

Yesterday I was praying for a girl in the middle of the lake.

Now I think about it I could have baptized someone, that would have been cool. But I’ve learned to just take a chance, to not forebode what could happen, but simply trust myself and God.

The woman who I’ve become friends with at the local eatery said “thank you! I slept well last night after you prayed for me. I’ve taken your advice to get more rest”.

The prophetic word- I saw a shirt the other day – it said “think less, live more”.

There are times I’m petrified and anxious, God how are you going to do it? How will you provide? And then He comes in when I least expect it.

I’ve told many people my testimony at the hostel I’m staying at- people are SERIOUSLY bewildered when I tell them that I haven’t had a phone for weeks and that God always provides what I need, even if it’s a stranger helping me with a ride or carpooling with me. 

God always sends angels to help me. 

And with this I realize that I’m living in complete trust in the Lord. That He literally is taking care of me as a Father would.

I usually would have some fear going into a new country but I knew that I would carpool with someone. I asked 5-6 people if they were going to Ubud and I ended up in a car with an Australian couple. It was a divine assignment. During the 1 hour and a half I prayed and prophesied over them as I heard their stories.

Everyone has a story and sometimes it’s cruel, sometimes it’s painful. 

But God is making all things new.

He is healing every wound and every bad memory and He is restoring unto you all that you have lost.

A girl I prayed for at an ice cream shop

God does not want slaves to listen to orders, He wants friends that will partner with Him in restoring the earth and the hearts of people.

Sow into the kingdom-

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Another Christian I met in Singapore hostel, we prayed for the country and sang to Jesus together.

The only anguish in my heart is for those that don’t know Jesus.

Today I found myself praying and crying to the Lord. God I pray that people will see the undying love of Christ and come to you.

It can be discouraging when you offer to pray for someone and they straight up say “no we don’t believe”.

Belief is a powerful thing. I sat there in the pool watching them as they silently sat reading their books. Though it seemed like a peaceful villa (I felt led to go there even though it wasn’t where I was staying but you are welcome to go and buy a drink), it seemed ominously quiet.

I thought about how sometimes when we don’t want interference, interruptions, noise, we are actually afraid to open our hearts to something new, maybe love, maybe an undying love named Jesus.

Sometimes we’d rather sit in brokenness than allow love to seep into our hearts. 

Sometimes we’d rather stay wounded than allow healing to occur.

Sometimes we’d rather run to distraction than allow ourselves to face the pain we’ve ignored for most of our lives. 

Even in the partying or celebrations our hearts could be broken.

So I sang out to Jesus- God bring them closer to your heart, bring them closer, bring them home.

The anguish in my heart is feeling like I’ve no control over how people react or how close they are to Jesus. I cannot force someone to see Jesus with their hearts, I cannot force someone to open their hearts.

Sometimes people are open and happy for some prayer, blessing and prophetic word about their life. Sometimes people wave their hand and say “no I don’t believe”. Sometimes they are so wounded they can’t see that true love exists, that betrayal sat too deeply in their memories to be forgiven.

I don’t feel rejected when they say no. I feel pain.

I feel pain that they are looking at the answer, but they are not willing to accept it. 

God has broken my heart for what breaks His. My only anguish is seeing a world full of people in despair and not seeing the One who can deliver them.

I am a drink offering being poured out everyday and I am praying everyday Lord bring them closer to you.

This night the Lord told me to knock on a young man’s door and pray for him. He is staying at the same hostel but in a private room. I wasn’t sure if it was his door but he opened. I said I was leaving tomorrow but that I wanted to pray for him and he said that he is not religious and turned away his face. I said, “okay, Jesus loves you”.

God break off the numbness in our hearts that prevent us from receiving your love. Your love is so amazing, it is wonderful, it is indescribable. You died on the cross for us and you thought of everyone of us. Your love captivates my heart. Your love is the only love worth living for. You healed my heart and I am longing for all people to know this love, this love that gives me rest and comfort. I pray this in Jesus name.

I am reminded of the story of Hosea. He married a harlot and the harlot, instead of wanting to be loved by one man,  went back to her old ways and lived a life of prostitution. Yet, Hosea waited for her. 

I am reminded that God waits for us and His love has no bounds. He continues to knock on our doors without asking for anything in return.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you.

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien